The Christmas Bait and Switch

A Model of Understated Elegance

This week, a major tree-building operation took over the eastern end of one of LAs magical artificial consumption playlands.  This mall, despite being called “The Grove,” is light on real in-ground trees but does have one imposing pine that it converts to something holiday-cheerful every year for the Christmas bonanza (which also features overdone sleighs, fake snow, and a full scale Santa hut constructed especially for the season).  Unfortunately, during this week’s tree-building operation, I learned something highly disturbing about the Grove Christmas tree.

***SPOILER ALERT***

It turns out that LA’s most iconic tree is a real tree stump fitted with imported real tree branches that are attached with pegs.  It is made of 100% real tree matter, all trucked in from different parts of a branch-producing forest of some sort.  See photographic evidence below.

           

I’m not a great nature lover, I admit.  I grew up in Manhattan, am happy to have all of my oxygen converted by trees growing out of cement, and find that without enough pollution in the air I suffer from debilitating allergies.  Still, I have certain standards when it comes to trees.  My main criteria is simple: I like a tree to be a tree, not a mutant item assembled using tree parts.

GROVE!  What are you going to do about it?  (Oh, add a flying Santa and his elves over the fountain and play schmaltzy music for months on end?  Okay, I guess there is no reasoning with you.)

-Lila

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One response to “The Christmas Bait and Switch

  1. Pingback: Authentic Copies of Fake Originals | Driving While Genius

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