Monthly Archives: November 2011

Today’s News, As Told By Huffington Post (11/30 Edition)

Yup, Jail. Read on...

Straight from the internet trenches, it’s another edition of “Today’s News,” from the gold standard in mingling important stuff with irrelevant blather, Huffington Post.  (Past editions are archived here.)

Here are some front page stories you might have missed while you were reading about Herman Cain’s sexual escapades:

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Top 5 Movies With No Plot A.K.A. My Favorite Films of All Time

More of this

Around certain parts (these parts, far parts, near parts) I am known to have somewhat unconventional taste in films.  This is because I am a ridiculous wimp and have an aversion to yelling, suspense, violence, or the suggestion thereof.  Regular-person movies like “Super 8” find me twisting 360 degrees in my $16 theater seat and cause panic-dreams for weeks.

Naturally then, when choosing a movie, I am not drawn towards films with plots or a series of actions that further said plot.  I prefer to watch regular people go through subtle emotional trials only to end up either largely unchanged or changed in a way that is impossible to describe with any specificity.

Many people are not familiar with my preferred genre because it has almost no appeal to anybody looking for a movie with clear entertainment value.  Still, as a public service I have decided to list my favorite movies and explain why they are so awesome.

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Presidential Cool is All in the Code Name

Code name: EAGLE!!

It is previously documented that I have a consuming fascination with presidential security.  As such, I was extremely excited to come across a fun little quiz on this very subject as I was perusing this morning. Said quiz challenges you to match a series of famous political figures with their often hilarious Secret Service code names. Because I am brilliant and a total freak, I took the quiz and scored a 8 out of 9. Lila, who is special in other ways, only scored a 4 out of 9.

Take the quiz yourself at the link below, and report back with your score if you are so inclined:

code name: TUMBLER (yes, really)

Alright folks, that’s it for today. And since it’s fake Friday, you probably won’t be hearing from us until after the holiday weekend. Godspeed, and enjoy your turkeys and pies.


Things To Consider Before Designing Your Disaster Kit

Hello, science nerds.

We’ve covered some of the important signs that the world is doomed on this blog. Things like Republican hair, zany fashion, melody-less singing, awkward dancing, and cheesy youtube mashups. What we have not discussed is the fact that we might all perish before these evils do us in thanks to another concerning trend: giant man-eating dry land-walking OCTOPUSES [caps necessary to express level of terror].

So, naysayers, before we settle in for the long haul, convinced that Rebecca Black is not powerful enough to destroy us all, there is a video that is important for you to see with a comment stream that confirms the worst. Please do not enjoy this video. Just watch it and mentally prepare your disaster kit.

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Three Weeks in High School with Justin Bieber and the Tweeters

I came to twitter late. I’ve technically had an account for over a year, but for most of that time I couldn’t quite get the hang of it. Then suddenly, this September, I “got it” and started tweeting up a storm.

Once I figured out how to make twitter work for me, I decided it was time to understand how twitter works for others. As part of my investigations, I spent approximately 3 weeks following Justin Bieber. The things I learned about our society were mind-blowing. Life altering, even. My powers of comprehension were thoroughly tested.

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At Home-Church With The Duggars

Have you seen this family?

Against all matching-outfit evidence to the contrary they aren’t a singing group. Against all 19 child logic, they aren’t Catholic.  Against all time-related logic the mother homeschools all of them (theoretically).  Against all child labor law logic they built the house they live in WITH THE HELP OF THE CHILDREN.

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Oh, People Are Just So Stupid and Funny and Stupid

A BoBo rebellion is brewing. Yesterday, a tipster (I have a tipster!) pointed me towards un scandale extraordinaire involving Lululemon, a yoga wear retailer that has an enormous following among the sort of yuppies inclined to pay $100 for stretchy pants.  Apparently the stroller mafia is in uproar because Lululemon’s founder, an avid Ayn Rand enthusiast, decided to print “who is JOHN GALT?” in huge block letters on the store’s shopping bags.

My reaction to Ayn Rand

I may not be the greatest person to speak on the the nuances of this scandal, because I have never read an Ayn Rand novel. What I understand about Rand’s “individualist” philosophy, plus the weird, fanatical way she is spoken of by a certain type of man (i.e., the type I would never ever want to date), plus her books’ mammoth size has been enough to scare me off. But these articles on Gawker and NPR gave me enough background to understand what all the fuss is about. And BOY is it hilarious and stupid.

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