Black Wednesday

Black Britney

Are you feeling it?  The sensation of a million marginally bored office-people clicking on a link whose featured location was purchased with large sums of parent-money by a bizarre company that creates viral internet sensations out of random talentless children?  I’m feeling it.

Today, friends, fake phenom Rebecca Black has “dropped” her new video for “Person Of Interest” (posted below). If the awkward dancing and bland tunes contained within this patently un-interesting 3 minute smile-fest don’t appeal to you, I get it. On a purely aesthetic level there is nothing here to comment on.

The fact that this video exists, however, is interesting.

The fact that a random girl from Random-Richperson-Place, USA could literally buy her own music career is interesting. And all of this is especially interesting when considered in conjunction with the many, many questions about Britney Spears’ largely artificial singing career that I posted here earlier in the week.

Blonde Britney

See, in my mind Britney Spears is manufactured, yes, but I understand how she became famous. As I discuss, she and her parent/managers made a long, concerted effort to position her as talented, boppy and findable by industry types and then let those industry types call all the shots.

Rebecca Black on the other hand, (well, really her parents) purchased a singing career that aims to use the Britney roadmap to success, taking a largely talentless singer and manufacturing the shit out of her. Black’s publicity strategy, however, is completely untailored to her. Her management did not find somebody who could sing, dance, and play the part of cheerful girl-next-door in the press. They were presented with a regular girl and some money and had to make something happen.

“Friday,” her first video, was fascinating mostly because Black was ballsy enough to do a bad impression of a pop star so publicly. Somehow, however, that annoying disaster spawned an empire. Shitty videos Rebecca Black videos keep coming out to serve an audience largely made up of her critics.

Still, Black has this unbelievable ability to deflect rampant abuse, as if she has somehow broken through to the other side of talent-free Britney-style fame. Spears only has two options: ignore the critics and/or have a nervous breakdown. Black, however, is only famous because of the critics. She is untouchable in her terribleness because the worse she gets, the better she performs and the faker her brand appears to be, the more hits from real people she gets.

So of course Black can’t sing, dance, act, or perform like a normal human in any way. Why would we expect that from her? We were stupid for even asking because the only thing we needed to know was: How much can she pay?

I’ve posted the video below, but please do not tell me what you think about it because I don’t care.


[I would like to note that this prepubescent dreamboat in the go-cart is sporting one hell of a Bieber cut. Long live the Biebs. He is SUCH a trailblazer. –Tania]


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